


climb so fast to fall

by thewayofthetrashcompactor (BriarLily)



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Ring in the Reylo, Rogue One References, but not necessarily spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-24
Updated: 2016-12-31
Packaged: 2018-09-11 15:11:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8992966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BriarLily/pseuds/thewayofthetrashcompactor
Summary: Kylo Ren arrived at (crashed into) the Resistance base and fell in front of the general, broken and bleeding.No one was very happy about this development, least of all Rey.





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LueurdeLaube](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LueurdeLaube/gifts).



> Thank you so much to everyone involved, you're all amazing, and I hope you enjoy!

When Kylo Ren arrived at (crashed into) the Resistance base and fell in front of the general, broken and bleeding, all Rey could think of was the last time she had seen him, when he had left Finn for dead in the snow after killing his own father. Other thoughts followed, the planets left burning in the First Order’s wake, Poe waking up screaming in the night after being tortured, all the brutal battles she had fought in since, the remembered feeling of his mind at the edge of her consciousness. (The feeling of him in her head had never really faded after he had captured her. Some days, it felt like she was in his mind as well, and she wasn’t sure which thought was worse.) 

The base had spilled into the open area to gawk at the spectacle before them. Rey had been pulled out of bed when they thought the distant object hurtling towards them was an attack, and she still wasn’t sure it wasn’t, even after they had received a message with a white flag of surrender. Kylo’s inelegant landing had brought the attention of the rest of the base, and they formed a circle around him as he stumbled to his knees before his mother. 

The gathered Resistance members watched with bated breath as the general looked down at her son. Tears stood out bright in her eyes, then spilled down her cheeks as she allowed herself to reach down and hold his shoulder, bent as if the motion hurt her. Rey’s heart ached even as she shifted to rest her hand against the lightsaber clipped to her belt. A crash came from across the compound, and the gathered crowd turned as one to see Luke stumble from one of the buildings, eyes wide and locked on his sister and nephew.

“Ben,” he said quietly. Several in the crowd bristled; Rey heard some darkly muttering around her. 

The general looked up, then let out a slow breath as she straightened. Her hand clenched on Kylo’s shoulder, then released. Her jaw tightened.

“Pava,” she said, and Jessika stepped from the crowd. Leia hesitated for a moment. But only a moment. “Take him to a holding cell,” she said. 

“Leia,” Luke said, stepping forward. She looked up and glared at him, and Rey could feel the heat and pain in her look from across the courtyard. Luke faltered. 

“Pava,” the general said again, and Jessika approached the man kneeling with his head bowed. 

She leaned down and grabbed Kylo Ren by his arm, pulling him to his feet. He didn’t resist, only let himself be led (dragged) to the cell. As she watched him go, Rey’s hand curled on her saber. 

-

Kylo remained out of sight for most of the base, if not out of mind. The detention area was given a wide berth, almost unconsciously, aside from the wary looks the base gave it as they passed. They held their breath for a week, following old routines with a new tension that even the ever-present threat of discovery hadn’t brought before. As Rey walked to the general’s regular briefing with Finn, she couldn’t help but feel anticipation tight in her chest, like something about to break. She wasn’t sure if it was her or the Force. She and Finn carefully avoided looking where they knew the Resistance’s newest prisoner was being kept as they crossed the base. Finn knew what everyone on the base did, that Luke’s helped with the precautions to keep Kylo confined, but Rey knew what Luke told her, or implied, that his methods were more guesswork than anything, the same as the rest of his teachings, born from a knowledge base that had been decimated several times over. Kylo could be stronger than Luke’s plans, or could have some knowledge from Snoke that they couldn’t predict. Luke was convinced that Kylo stayed because he wanted to, Rey knew, and she wasn’t sure that she wanted to believe in their enemy’s sudden change of heart the way he did. She certainly didn’t share his belief. 

When they entered the command center, Rey took her place next to Luke, Finn standing on her other side. Luke gave them a friendly nod, seemingly ignorant of the tension in the room, and went back to watching the general, who was pointedly ignoring him as she went through the pad in front of her, glancing up to take note as each person entered the room. Once the room was full, she straightened and looked around, gaze skipping over her brother, then cleared her throat. 

“To begin, I’m sure you all know that we currently have a prisoner on base who defected from the First Order.” Sounds of people uncomfortably shifting filled the room, the name the general had conspicuously left out hanging heavy among them, almost like a presence on its own. “There haven’t been any signs that our position has been compromised, but we’ll all be keeping alert, as usual.” She glanced down at her pad and scrolled to the first item. “With that, we have some new intelligence that, if reliable, could make a hell of a difference for us. But given the source, there are...concerns.” She looked across the room, not meeting anyone’s eyes in particular. “We have a mission planned to test the reliability of this information, but I’m not going to force anyone to take it. I won’t pretend this isn’t a risk, more than it usually is.” She lowered the pad. “Are there any volunteers?”

The tense silence lasted only a moment before Poe stepped forward. “I’ll go, General.”

Leia nodded, expression unchanging. “Dameron. Thank you.” Another beat passed, and Rey moved to join Poe, but Luke beat her to it. She watched him in surprise. 

The general looked at him from the corner of her eye. “Luke…” she said warningly. He simply looked at her neutrally, smiling slightly. Rey sighed and took the last step to join him. “Absolutely not. We can’t risk both of you,” Leia said, now turned towards them. 

“You did ask for volunteers,” Luke pointed out mildly. 

Leia raised her finger at him in a familiar gesture that Rey couldn’t place. “Don’t you tell me what I said. We didn’t spend ten years trying to drag you back here to throw the last kriffing Jedi away now.” 

“The information is good Leia. You know that, and so does the Force,” Luke said, quietly enough that Rey could barely hear him. 

Leia glared at him again, then turned back to face the room. “Luke and Rey will provide back-up, as needed. Dameron, can you get a team together?”

Poe looked around Leia at Finn, who nodded. “I think so, General.”

Leia nodded firmly. “Good. We’ll debrief at the hangar in two hours. The rest of you, keep your teams ready. However this goes, we’ll need everyone on hand.” 

The leaders around the room acknowledged her and began filing out. Rey hesitated, glancing back at Leia before hurrying after Luke out of the room. The general’s gaze followed her. 

Rey caught up with Luke just outside the building. She saw Finn walking with Poe towards the hangar, Jessika joining them. She walked alongside Luke in silence until they were farther from the center of the base before asking the question burning on her tongue. 

“How do you know he’s telling the truth? Kylo. The information for this mission is obviously from him; how can you be sure he’s not leading us into a trap?”

Luke remained unperturbed by her questioning. He gave a slight shrug. “The Force.”

Rey frowned. “He knows the Force too,” she pointed out.

Luke nodded. “Ben has always existed somewhere between the two sides of the Force. I may have… pushed him too far when he was younger, tried to keep him completely away from the Dark.” He sighed. “I’d hoped if he could be completely of the Light, learn to embrace it, he could let go of all the anger and Dark emotions he struggled with so much. It may have led me to lose him in the end.”

He was quiet for a moment, then half smiled. “But I think Snoke has made the same mistakes I did. In trying to pull Kylo so far to the Dark, leading him to kill Han, he’s shoved him back into the Light. Ben is conflicted, certainly, and in pain. That pull to the Dark is still in him. But he is more balanced now than I’ve felt him since he was a child. It’s in the Force, moving around him. You could feel it too, if you let yourself.” He glanced over at Rey, and she looked down to avoid his piercing gaze. 

She didn’t say anything else, even as she left him to go to her quarters to gather her things, but she felt like he could feel her doubt, that his love for his nephew was blinding him to the dangers of an enemy who had killed so many, who had torn apart his own family. 

Rey met Luke again outside of her dormitory half an hour before they were scheduled to meet Leia and the others. As they walked, she caught glimpses of the silver cylinder clipped under his billowing robes. She had a sudden flash of memory of another saber along with long dark robes. She wondered if all Force users were required to dress for dramatic entrances. 

Poe, Finn, Jessika, and two other pilots waited for them by Poe’s x-wing. 

“Any idea where we’re going?” Finn asked quietly as she stopped next to him. She shook her head. 

They were quiet as they waited for the general. Poe went through increasingly more detailed checks on his x-wing, with Finn occasionally helping. Jessika stood with the other pilots to the side, occasionally talking lowly. Luke set himself up at the head of the plane, looking vaguely past everyone around him, though Rey was sure he didn’t miss anything. He looked like he could wait there forever, and given his history, Rey suspected he could. She stood next to him, watching. She tried some of the meditation techniques he had taught her, feeling like she was having more success in connecting to the Force. Some days it remained frustratingly out of reach, but other days she could almost feel the movements Luke talked about. She was reaching out, exploring some strange yet vaguely familiar presence when the general arrived, breaking her concentration.

She was early, but unsurprised to see them all there, ready, and the group gathered around her. 

“The target is Eadu,” she began without preamble. 

Poe started visibly, and the two other pilots glanced at each other. “I thought the base at Eadu was destroyed,” Poe said.

“As far as we knew, it was,” Leia agreed. “But our intelligence says that while the entrance was destroyed, most of the base remained intact. Given the research that happened there, the First Order dug out the old base, built a new entrance, and resumed the Empire’s research there.”

“Research?” Finn whispered to Rey, who shrugged.

“The Death Star,” Luke said quietly from behind them. 

Leia flicked her eyes at him and continued. “We think that what they found there allowed them to construct Starkiller base as quickly as they did. Destroying the base on Eadu should slow down their weapons production significantly.”

Poe nodded. “Way in?”

“Only one entrance after the original attack.” Leia handed him a data chip. “We don’t have much info, but should be enough to get you in to set charges and out again. Intelligence says guard level is low; the First Order is keeping it a secret even within the ranks that they have a presence there at all.” She gave a tight smile. “Trying to avoid a repeat of last time.” She gestured at the data chip Poe held. “The approach is difficult and narrow, which is another reason you-” she turns and points at Luke and Rey “-will be staying in the air.” Luke smiled innocently at her and Leia narrowed her eyes at him before facing the group again. “If there’s any signs of trouble, get out immediately. Take the base if you can, but if the information is bad, don’t risk your lives. We need you back.” She looked around, and they all murmured agreements. “May the Force be with you.”

They split up, each to their own ship, Luke following Rey. Chewbacca was waiting for them by the Falcon. 

“ _I’m coming_ ,” he told them.

Rey nodded, and they boarded. She sat in the pilot’s seat, with Chewie next to her, and Luke standing behind them. She glanced back to make sure he was ready and saw him resting his hand lightly on the overhead controls, smiling sadly. She quickly turned back, a lump in her throat. Luke hadn’t been back on the Falcon since she and Chewie brought him back from Ahch-To. Rey remembered his hesitance when he had boarded then. He had avoided the cabin, instead sitting silently at the dejarik table for the entire trip. Rey flipped the switches overhead while Chewie made similar preparations on his side. They were quiet as the ship started up, filling the cabin with a comforting hum. Rey gave a small smile. 

“ _Where to_?” Chewie asked. 

“Eadu,” she told him, and he gave a roar of confirmation tinged with surprise. 

They followed the rest of the ships out of the hanger as others, including the general, watched from below. Poe had them all call in to confirm their readiness and their destination, then they took off into hyperspace.

Once they were underway, Luke laid a hand on her shoulder. 

“We won’t get there for a while. We can work on your training.”

She stood and followed him to the main cabin of the ship. He rummaged in a compartment along the walls and pulled out a mechanical ball.

“Get your lightsaber out and close your eyes,” he told her, setting the ball in the air. 

She obeyed, pulling the old lightsaber he had told her to keep from her belt. She stood with saber ready and eyes shut tight, unsure what he would do next.

“Now - defend yourself.”

She jumped when the first strike hit her, and she could feel Luke’s smile. She shifted her stance, holding the saber in preparation to swing, and reached into the Force to feel the strikes before they came. She missed the next couple as well, but caught the one after. She began meeting them sporadically, and strained to stretch farther into the Force to anticipate them sooner. 

Eyes screwed shut, she started when she felt something like a snort through her connection to the Force. Instead of pulling back, she reached further, and slowly, the moves came easier to her, as if she’d gone through the motions before. She started anticipating the ball, finding the understanding to predict it. Her lightsaber cut swiftly through the air as she turned and dodged instinctively. 

She powered the saber off when she felt Luke’s presence move in front of her, reaching out to turn off the ball. Her eyes opened to find him smiling at her.

“Excellent,” he praised, though something sad lingered in his eyes. “You got the hang of that very quickly. I could feel you.” He stored the ball back in the compartment and sat down on the floor, gesturing for her to sit with him. “You’re doing better at connecting to the Force. We’ll meditate and work on it some more.”

She obligingly sat with him, crossing her legs. “Let it flow through you,” he murmured, and she closed her eyes. _Breathe in, breathe out._ Let it come to you. That was the hardest for her, allowing it to work through her rather than forcing it. She slowed her breathing, relaxing. She felt Luke next to her, Chewie in the cockpit, the rush of the universe around them. And there it was again, another presence, almost closed off from her. She resisted the urge to prod at it this time, and tried to feel it through the currents of the Force. It resisted her somewhat, but she could feel emotions, threads of irritation and bitter amusement. 

Her exploration ended when Chewie interrupted with a roar from the cockpit. Eadu was fast approaching. She unfolded herself from the floor and opened her eyes to see Luke looking at her oddly. She frowned, but his face smoothed. He gave her a slight smile and turned away. She looked after him for a moment, then returned to the cockpit, taking the empty seat. 

Eadu appeared before them a short while later, along with the five other ships. Poe’s voice crackled over the comm.

“Approach from the far side. Black Squadron, follow my lead. Falcon, hang back after entry, do not engage unless necessary.”

The team flew into the planet in formation, Rey bringing up the rear. The cloud layer was thick, with storms forming in the distance. When they broke through to the other side, the light was gray and dim, casting shadows over the mountainous peaks that crowded the surface. The rest of the team pulled away, heading directly for the base, as Rey slowed the Falcon’s approach. 

“Land close to the entrance. Speed is the essence for this one,” Poe instructed over the com. It went quiet as the others landed their x-wings and gathered in person before entering the base. Rey sat with Luke and Chewie, listening intently. It stayed quiet for several more minutes.

“Black Three to Black Leader, hostile encountered on maintenance level, eliminated without known contact.” Rey recognized Jessika’s voice.

“Black Leader to Black Three, acknowledged. Packages delivered on maintenance level?”

“Affirmative. Heading back to entrance now.”

“Acknowledged. Will meet you there.”

Quiet again. Then: “Falcon, Black Leader to Falcon. Troopers met outside of entrance, retreated to base, pinned down. Need back up immediately, five minutes left on charges.”

Rey’s heart skipped. “That’s us,” she muttered as she put the Falcon into gear. They raced to the entrance. The time for subtlety was over. She set the ship down in the small flat area outside of the entrance. She, Luke, and Chewie were on the ramp down from the ship before it had even fully lowered. She and Luke led, her with a blaster, and Luke with an unlit saber, and Chewie followed with his bowcaster. 

Two troopers stood on either side of the open door, glancing inside to where blaster shots were flashing across the hallway. Chewie easily took them out at a distance. They rushed to the entrance, Luke holding up a hand as he closed his eyes for a moment. He gestured to the right side of the door, and Chewie stepped inside as Luke blocked the blasts for long enough for him to knock out the stormtroopers at the end. They ran to the other end of the hallway, where Jessika and the two other pilots came around the corner to meet them. 

“Dameron and Finn are trapped on the other side of the floor; they were behind us,” Jessika told them as they followed her further down the hallway. 

It was bathed in red light, and the sound of the warning siren echoed off the narrow walls. Rey’s heart was in her throat as they ran through the mostly empty empty hall that stretched out into darkness. As they got closer to Finn and Poe, more blaster shots lit the confined space. They came from behind another group of troopers who were too engrossed in their fight to defend themselves. Finn and Poe were trapped down a side hallway around the corner, pinned down by a group of troopers from the other side. The troopers began to advance when the blasts from their comrades stopped and sent a volley down the hall. Jess and Chewbacca dove back around the corner for cover. Jess signaled for them to take positions along the wall, with Rey and Luke doing their best to provide protection. On her mark, the team came around the corner, blasters and saber blazing. 

The stormtroopers were taken by surprise, clearly not expecting another group to have made their way into the base. Two fell immediately, while the rest stepped over their fallen comrades and continued to advance. They drew abreast of the hall where Poe and Finn were pinned, and several turned to eliminate the rebels there. A harsh grunt came from the side hall, and the rest of the rebels rushed forward as one. A burning hot bolt skimmed the air next to Rey’s cheek, and she drew a sharp breath. 

In the heat of the battle, she tried to slow her heartbeat, _breathe in, breathe out_ , even as she aimed at the next stormtrooper. The Force was even more chaotic in the base than it had been outside, filled with a multitude of presences she didn’t understand, not just the stormtroopers and the scientists. She was just able to make out the feeling of the troopers they were fighting, though her sense of them was fuzzy. She dodged the next bolt that came towards her, and fired to block a shot that was about to hit one of the pilots. One shot sizzled through the fur at Chewie’s side, but he growled and kept firing. 

The stormtroopers were almost close enough to reach now. Luke came around the group and knocked several of the troopers off their feet, kicking their weapons aside. Several more fell from the rebels well-aimed shots, adding to the bodies scattered along the hallway. Finally, it was down to only a few. Rey darted out and pulled the blasters away from two of them, kicking them away. The last two fell easily, and the group rounded the corner to find another few being held off by Finn, who had his arm around Poe’s waist to help keep him up. Both of them were firing rapidly, but backing up. The rest of the group shot down the stormtroopers from behind. Rey and Jess rushed forward to help Poe, who brushed them off.

“I’m fine,” he panted. “Let’s go.”

They turned and sprinted from back down the hallway, Poe managing to keep pace. At the end of the short hall, a door to a lab stood open. Rey slid to a stop, eyes caught by a glimmer on a high steel counter inside. Something in the Force tugged at her, and with a glance down the hallway to where the rest of the group was rounding in the corner, she darted into the lab.

“Rey!” Luke called after her. She heard his footsteps turn and run back down the hall.

The lab was full of equipment, large metal contraptions standing scattered across the floor, some sitting on the counter, and various smaller pieces here and there. Set in many of the machines and on the counters were clear crystals. Rey heard echoes of Luke’s lessons in her mind, how jedi and sith channeled the force, traditional journeys to caves of ice. Her gaze locked on a pair of crystals fastened under the focusing lense of some tool on the counter. As if in a daze, she walked forward, the sounds of sirens and running footsteps fading away. She reached out, tugging the crystals free, and they fell into her hand. She saw them start to change, their clear depths filling with color, turning a rich bright yellow. She looked into them, entranced, feeling the Force swirling around her, when something screamed along that connection.

“ _Rey, get out of there!_ ”

She jolted and whipped around. Luke was behind her, hand outstretched. “Rey, we need to go,” he said urgently.

She nodded and ran after him. They caught up with the rest of the group outside of the base, sprinting outside as they were reaching their x-wings. Chewbacca waited for them at the open ramp of the Falcon and roared as they ran onboard. 

“I know, I know,” Rey panted. She landed in the pilot’s seat with Chewbacca close behind, and they rushed through the starting sequences. 

“Tie fighters approaching from the west; Black Squadron move out,” Poe said over the com. “Regroup at home base.”

The x-wings took off, one after another, and the Falcon followed close behind. The mountain exploded behind them, the shockwave chasing them on their way. Rey glanced back and saw the mountain collapse in onto itself, leaving a large gap in the mountain range. They shot out of the atmosphere. A few futile shots chased after them, but they were safely in hyperspace before they even came close. 

Luke leaned over her shoulder. “Why don’t you show me what you went back for?”

She reached into her belt where she had shoved the crystals and brought them out to show him. The color had deepened further, glowing with the light of a late afternoon sun. 

Luke gave a wry smile. “It seems the Force has a different idea about your training than I was planning.”

She looked at him curiously. 

“Kyber crystals,” he explained. “Not completely surprising to find in a secret base doing weapons experiments, but by the looks of it, a pair that will form the heart of your lightsaber.”

She sucked in a shocked breath. “I thought you said that wouldn’t come until later.”

He shrugged with an air of self depreciation. “As I said, the Force appears to know better than I do.” His looked turned more grim. “There may be a reason for you to have your own saber before you might have been ready.”

She turned the crystals over in her hands. Holding them gave her a sense of satisfaction, but Luke’s words held a ring of truth that struck a warning chord in her sense of the Force, which was sharper with the crystals in hand. “Two of them? How will that work?”

Luke smiled again. “I’ve been thinking a saberstaff would suit you since I first saw you fight. At least I got part of it right.” He laid a hand on her shoulder. “Let’s go meditate. It seems we need to speed up your training.”

They settled back into the main room, meditating until Chewbacca called them back again. They landed on D’Qar behind the x-wings, and disembarked to find the general waiting by the door of the hangar. She walked to Poe’s x-wing. He climbed out, wincing, but stood straight to give his report. 

“Base successfully destroyed, General,” he began. 

She smiled. “Excellent work, Dameron. Get yourself to medical. Full report when you’re patched up.”

He nodded and walked from the hangar, limping slightly. The rest of the team had already gotten down from their x-wings and were going through post-flight rituals. The general walked by, checking on them, before ending up by the Falcon. 

She looked at Luke with eyebrows raised. “I expect you managed to involve yourselves?”

He copied her expression with a smile. “Unfortunately, the stormtroopers weren’t cooperative.”

Her eyebrows flew higher. “Stormtroopers? Nevermind, tell me when Dameron’s back. I’m sure I’d rather hear it from him.” 

She walked off, and Luke turned to Rey. “Poe won’t be long, I expect.”

She shook her head with a wry smile. “He’ll barely stand still long enough for them to slap a bacta patch on him. I’ll check over the Falcon and meet you there.”

Sure enough, once she walked into the command room, Poe wasn’t far behind. He was walking a little straighter and clearly trying not to let his injury show. The general was talking at the table with an admiral, and they both looked up as he entered. 

“Dameron, excellent. Let’s get started. And maybe you can get back to medical and let them finish patching you up when we’re done.”

He opened his mouth to reply, then winced and pressed a hand to his side. “Yes, General.”

They gathered around the table, and Poe began. “No unexpected complications in approaching or entering the base. A few troopers were encountered, but presented no problem. Engineering and scientific staff remained in labs and did not engage. Charges were set on maintenance level and structural points, and team was prepared to leave without issue. However, returning stormtrooper patrol was encountered immediately outside of the base. The patrol set off the alarm and engaged with the squadron. The Falcon was called for backup, and the squadron left the base before the charges went off. We had visual confirmation that the base was destroyed before returning to base.”

“But did they expect you? Did they know you were coming?” the admiral demanded.

Poe shook his head. “It was dumb luck we left as the stormtroopers were coming in. If we had prepared more, learned their schedule before engaging, we might have avoided it. But aside from the patrol, we could have gotten in and out without a scratch.”

“Are you sure?” the general asked. “How do you know they weren’t sent to meet you.”

Poe shrugged. “They were just as surprised to see us as we were them. And to be quite honest, general, if the First Order really wanted to get rid of us, they would have sent a lot better than that.”

The general gave a grim smile. “Understood. I think the admiral and I have some things to talk about. Congratulations, Black Squadron.” She smiled much more warmly. “This is a fantastic success, and we are incredibly grateful.” 

The pilots grinned at her before filing from the room, congratulating each other. “Medical, Dameron,” the general reminded.

Luke hung back. “Leia - “ he said quietly.

She didn’t look at him. “Later,” she said firmly.

He nodded reluctantly and left with Rey. 


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning, Luke called her to training even earlier than usual. He pushed her harder than he had before, more determined than ever. Both Rey’s mind and body were aching by the time they were done, when Leia called another meeting, this time for the whole base. They crowded into the command room, shoulder to shoulder, listening intently as the general laid out a plan. New missions, new targets, a new strategy for the entire Resistance in the weeks to come. Rey left for bed that night with her head full, and she dreamed of battle plans. 

The Resistance was kept busier than it had ever been, with missions sent out and returning every day. Rey’s schedule was as full as anyone else’s, though she stayed on the base more often than not. Luke’s teaching had been more relaxed, as compared to the pace that fueled the rest of the base, but her discovery of her kyber crystals inspired him to new heights. It was an odd feeling, rushing through meditation, but the new tension Luke gave off made it hard to relax completely. She spent her breaks working on the Falcon, which gave her some sense of peace, though Luke encouraged her to practice her command of the Force there as well. 

She climbed out of where she had been buried in the Falcon’s mechanics and pulled herself up to sit on top of it, taking a quick breath. A squadron took off as she watched, leaving the hangar nearly empty. The Resistance had never fully recovered from the losses on Starkiller, and the new pace strained their resources to their ends. The First Order had been set back then as well, but they had reserves the Resistance couldn’t hope to match. Still, their new intelligence had them striking blow after blow against the Order, to the point that they felt they might be making an actual dent in their fight. 

Another squadron flew into the hangar, landing where the last one had taken off. The pilots climbed down from their ships and clapped each other on the back, full of leftover adrenaline. Others were waiting to greet them, and their overzealous enthusiasm badly disguised their relief. No one talked about the fear that their luck was too good to last, that the other side would fall with devastating force when it came. They couldn’t let go of the vague underlying fear that it was all a trap, waiting to close.

Rey sighed and slid down the ship, back to where she had left a panel open. At least with their unrelenting schedule, there hadn’t been time for anyone to fight over fate of Kylo Ren. They hadn’t yet protested that their prisoner was still alive, despite his crimes, when they spent most of their days in First Order territory. For the moment, Kylo Ren remained just enough on the edge of their minds. Rey couldn’t forget about him, but she couldn’t worry over him either. 

-

That changed when Kylo got out. She didn’t realize what she’d seen at first, doing a double take as she walked across the base. She wasn’t the only one. He was easy to miss, skulking along the edges of a building like a beige shadow. Someone had taken away his dark robes and replaced them with selections from the standard Resistance garb, a loose tunic in pants in an identical light brown, covered in an open robe in the same brown, with the hood raised. His shoulders were hunched and his hands were shoved in the pockets, and his dark curls showed around the edges of the hood. Everyone seemed to pass over him at first, but something about the posture, the dark gaze brought a second glance. A group of pilots passed between Rey and the former prisoner, walking quickly and casting murderous glances. Others were doing the same, and as Kylo sulked across the base, he created a wide berth of space around him. 

“Why is Kylo Ren wandering the base?” she asked Luke as soon as she entered their training area.

He raised an eyebrow. “Good morning to you too, Rey.”

“Good morning. Why is Kylo Ren wandering the base?”

He didn’t answer, simply smiled and sat on the floor, gesturing for her to join him. She sighed and sat. He closed his eyes, resting his hands in meditation, and with no small amount of annoyance, she copied him. 

The meditation was only moderately successful, and when Luke finally opened his eyes again, she was waiting for him. He raised his eyebrows at her, but she refused to be abashed. He sighed and rose, turning away to make their tea. 

“The Resistance has decided that Kylo Ren is not a threat, given his significant help in the fight against the First Order. As a defector from the Order, Ben is restricted to the base for the time being, though they reserve the right to change their decision in future.”

Her mouth dropped open. “Just like that.”

He turned back to her. “Just like that. Ben has proven himself to the Resistance several times over, Rey.”

She set her jaw. “You can’t just pretend that all those people he killed, that he had murdered don’t exist, that it doesn’t matter.”

Luke’s eyes met hers firmly. “No one is saying that it doesn’t. He will live with that, Rey, one way or another.” She opened her mouth again, but he turned back to the tea. “I think more mediation is in order for today.” 

She bit her tongue, cutting off her words. He gave her the tea, which tasted more bitter than usual.

By the evening, word had made its way around the base. Kylo Ren had received a partial pardon for services rendered to the Resistance, apparently giving up enough bases for the Resistance leaders to consider equal to the worlds and lives he had destroyed, an announcement that was met with grumbling and curses. If Kylo didn’t have the Force, Rey might have been concerned for his safety. Even so, she was sure he’d be sleeping with one eye open.

-

As much as she could, Rey spent her meals with Finn, though it was harder when he spent as much time off the base as any other pilot. When they ate together, they sat in the dining hall, which whatever other Resistance members were there. While Rey had to fight her instincts to retreat with her food to where someone couldn’t steal it, Finn was used to eating with a crowd, and Rey slowly stopped jumping when people joined them. Rey was expecting to take her food out to her meditation spot on the edge of the base today, but stopped when she caught sight of the back of a familiar head.

“Finn!” she cried, rushing over.

He turned and met her, grinning hugely. “Rey!”

She wrapped her arms around him, keeping a firm grip on her lunch. “I thought you weren’t due back until tomorrow!”

“Finished early! Mission went even better than we thought, didn’t need the extra day.” 

She grinned back at him. “You’ll have to tell me everything. Did you eat yet?”

He shook his head. “I’ll grab something and join you.”

She found a table and sat, and Finn took the seat next to her shortly later. “So. Mission,” she prompted, around her mouthful of food.

He opened his mouth to reply, then his eyes widened in shock. He stared past her. “Is that Kylo Ren?”

She looked over her shoulder. She had noticed him when she came in, hunched over at a table in the back in his ridiculous beige ensemble, hood pulled up as always. He frequently lurked around the base, avoided by everyone there, but there had been no violence yet. She looked back to Finn. “Leaders gave him a provisional pardon, based on the information he’s given. He’s free to wander the base now.”

Finn’s expression was both curious and worried. “They’re not going to try him?”

She shook her head. “Seems not. Just taking his word.”

“I guess the general vouched for him?”

“And Luke. They still had to convince the rest of the higher ups though.” She stabbed a piece of protein. 

He glanced at Kylo again. “Seems it worked.”

She shrugged. “Guess they figure since he hasn’t lead the First Order to us so far. Still a mistake though.”

He cocked his head. “How d’you mean?”

She let her fork fall with a clatter. “He’s still First Order, Finn. After all he’s done for them, we’re supposed to accept that he’s just left it behind? There’s no way we can trust him. One of these days, he’s going to lead us into a trap, just like he did to Han.”

Finn stared down at his plate, and Rey slowly realized what she had said. “Finn, no, I-” She scrambled for words. “You refused to kill for them, you escaped. How many has he killed?”

He gave a weak smile. “We’ve all killed people, Rey.” She opened her mouth to protest, but her cut her off. “But it’s different, you’re right.” He pushed around his food with his fork. 

She watched him, guilt rising in her throat. She choked down the rest of her food, and they finished their meal in silence. He hugged her again when they parted outside the mess hall, but he still wasn’t quite meeting her eyes. 

“I’ll see you tonight, yeah?” he asked.

“‘Course,” she answered earnestly. 

She watched him head back to the hanger and sighed, chest heavy. She knew he’d forgive her, but her words wouldn’t be so easily forgotten. Most everyone on the base accepted Finn wholeheartedly, but there were still a couple who couldn’t see past the armor. She cast around for some way to make it up to him, and pursed her lips when she realized there was only one good solution. She turned back into the dining hall and walked to Kylo Ren’s corner. Hopefully she could convince Kylo to join her and Finn for supper, at least try to reach out to him.

He looked up when he heard her approaching, eyes widening in shock and then narrowing. His lighter hood managed to keep his face in shadow, though it was nowhere near as intimidating as his mask. He glared at her as she stopped by his table, apparently insulted that she dared interrupt his solitary lunch. 

“What?” he demanded.

She gritted her teeth. “I was just _wondering_ if you would like to have supper with me tonight.”

He reared back from her, looking at her like she was a dangerous animal prepared to attack. “You what?”

She stopped herself from rolling her eyes. “Was wondering if you’d join me for supper.”

He leaned in, narrowing his eyes. “Did the general put you up to this?”

“What? No!”

He settled back, glare lightening somewhat, but still evaluating her. “Fine. Seven. My quarters.”

She furrowed her brows. “I-”

His glare returned. “What?”

She huffed. “Fine.” He clearly wasn’t comfortable in the dining hall. “See you then.” She turned on her heel and walked back out of the hall. 

Finn was apparently busy for the rest of the day. She waited outside the dining hall until after seven, but he didn’t show up. Sighing, she walked to Kylo’s quarters on her own, which were set in a mostly empty bunker, apart from anyone else. She stood looking at the door for a moment, and then Kylo opened it before she could knock. 

“You’re late.”

She crossed her arms. “I can leave.”

He opened the door further. “You’re here already, might as well eat.”

Sighing, she lowered her arms and walked in. Kylo’s quarters were the same cramped layout that everyone on base had, just wide enough for a bed, a wardrobe, and a small open space, but Kylo had managed to fit two chairs and a small table into the area. Two meals sat ready on the table, the same kind that could be found in the dining hall. Kylo pulled out one of the chairs and gestured for her to sit. She did, and he joined her. 

They ate in silence. When she was halfway done, Rey decided she should make at least an attempt at conversation for the night.

“Have you spent much time with your mother?”

He gave a short, bitter laugh. “Not since I’ve been let out. She’s plenty busy running the Resistance, as usual.”

She frowned, but went back to her food. He cleared his throat. “You’ve been training with Skywalker?”

She nodded. “Every day.”

He snorted. “Still using his old saber though?”

“Actually, I already have the crystals for my saber. Luke says we’ll likely work on putting it together soon.”

His eyes widened. “Really? You already went to the caves?”

She shook her head. “Picked them up at Eadu.”

He laughed again, more genuinely this time. “That’ll do it, I guess.”

They went back to eating, silence falling again. Rey finished before Kylo, preferring more efficient method of eating than his table manners. When both their trays were clear, Kylo paused for a moment, then stood. 

“I appreciate you asking me to dinner-” he said gruffly.

“I did it for Finn,” she interjected, also standing. “He pointed out that you deserved a chance.”

He nodded, looking awkward. “Well. Thank you.” He forged on. “I - admire you.” He left the statement hanging in the air, as if waiting for a response.

Rey was at a loss for words. She looked around the room again, and something gradually clicked in her head. Something Poe, or maybe Jessika had said about _having dinner_ with someone. Why people might spend the evening in each other’s rooms, rather than the common areas. She blinked. 

“You - what? You don’t think-?”

His already pink cheeks turned red, and the color burned at the tips of his ears. 

She looked away, running her hand through her hair. “I just - How could you - How could I - You _killed_ your father! And you nearly killed Finn. How could you possible think that I would - that I’d be interested like _that_ ” She didn’t know how to describe feeling something other than suspicion towards Kylo Ren, certainly not anything close to - 

“I know what I did,” he cut in harshly. “I don’t expect anything, from you or from anyone.”

“Then what?” she demanded.

“You asked me to dinner! What was I supposed to think? I am quite aware you don’t like me, but the bond-” He trailed off, looking at her, angry and hurt, for reasons she didn’t fully understand.

“The bond?” 

His face went white. “I thought - Skywalker would have told you - “

“Told me _what_?” Her voice grew louder.

“The bond, the Force bond. It formed when I captured you, when we went into each other’s minds.” 

Her mouth hung open. “ _What_?” she repeated.

“A connection, in the Force. It usually forms between masters and apprentices, but it doesn’t have to.” He stumbled over the words, eyes wide, watching her.

“We’re… connected?” She drew out the word, feeling her heartbeat start to pound louder.

“In a way. I’ve been blocking it, but I’ve felt you reaching out. I thought you knew, that Skywalker couldn’t possibly keep this from you.” He had backed up, nearly onto the bed now.

“I’ve been feeling _you_?”

”Only sometimes. I’ve been keeping you out as much as I could.”

Her chest heaved, and she felt like she wasn’t getting enough air. ”How do we get rid of it?”

”We don’t. You can’t. It’s impossible.”

”You’re lying,” she hissed.

”Why would I be lying?” he shouted, moving forward again. “I don’t want this any more than you do.”

“Why wouldn’t you be lying?” she shouted back. Rey couldn’t breathe. He was in her _head_. ”You may have convinced the general you’ve changed, but you can’t turn back from the dark like that. Not after what you’ve done.”

She stormed from the room, leaving him silent behind her. She crossed the dark base, making her way to Luke’s room. She pounded on the door.

“Did you know?” she demanded as soon as he opened the door.

His eyes widened when he saw her, and he ushered her into the room, closing the door behind her. “Know what?” he asked calmly.

“That Kylo and I are _bonded_.”

He sighed heavily and sat on a nearby chair. “I suspected. But no, I didn’t know for certain. There was certainly more of his presence about you than there should have been, but I didn’t want to alarm you with something that you could take badly when I wasn’t sure that it had happened.”

“How else am I supposed to take this?” she demanded.

He sighed again. “It is what it is. It cannot be changed now, you can only learn to live with it.”

She shook her head. “No. There has to be a way to get rid of this.”

He looked at her sadly. “A Force bond can linger even after death, with one person feeling the loss of the other. There’s no way to remove it, Rey.”

She continued shaking her head. “I can’t - how am I supposed to think, knowing that he could be in my thoughts?” Tears welled at the corner of her eyes and she angrily swallowed past the lump in her throat. She looked at the floor, blinking, vision blurry.

Luke came forward and laid a hand her shoulder. “Your mind is still your own, Rey, I promise.”

She swiped the back of her hand across her cheeks, choking on the overwhelming emotions. “How can you know?” she whispered.

He held her more firmly. “I’m sorry. I truly am. I know this is something neither of you wanted. I can teach you, through meditation, ways of blocking the connection on your end as well. I think you recognize his presence already, even if you don’t realize it.”

She shook her head and wiped her face again as she turned to leave. 

“Rey,” he called after her. She kept walking.

She ended up on a hill overlooking the base. She sat on the ground, wrapping her arms around her knees. Part of her wanted to search the Force, to feel out this connection so she could know exactly how far it went. The other part of her was afraid to touch it, that feeling it would make it more real. She ended up simply sitting there, staring across the base, focusing on each thought and trying to be sure it was her own. 

The rest of the base was empty by the time she finally descended the hill and went back to her quarters. She slept fitfully, scaring herself out of every dream she had.


	3. Chapter 3

Despite her lack of sleep, she was outside the training area not long after dawn the next day. Unsurprisingly, Luke was already there.

“Teach me how to block him.”

Wordlessly, he gestured at the floor, and they sat together. 

“Clear your mind,” he instructed.

She rested her hands, going through the familiar patterns of meditation. They helped to calm her somewhat, though her mind was still buzzing. 

“Let the Force come to you,” Luke said, as if from a distance. 

She breathed out, letting her reach into the Force flow naturally. She felt Luke’s familiar presence next to her, and the calm signatures of the base surrounding them. Some that she recognized rose to the surface, and she let them pass by her. Beyond the edges of the base, there were no people, only the natural inhabitants of the planet.

“Look inwards, not out.”

She let out another long, slow breath, then breathed in again. She drew her focus towards herself. The Force welled up inside her, just as it did in Luke. She felt around the edges of it, until she found the presence she had felt there before. It was connected to her, but she was cut off from it. She explored it, feeling some small relief that it seemed to be contained, just a point of contact connecting them. She drew back when she remembered what Kylo had said about sensing her along it.

“You’ve found it?”

“Yes.”

“Good. Once you recognize the connection, you can keep your thoughts from affecting each other. Let’s practice.”

When they finally broke for lunch, Rey’s head ached, but she felt much more sure in herself. The connection was still there, like Luke and Kylo said it would be, but she could separate it from herself, keep it apart.

Outside the dining hall, Finn was waiting for her, and waved when he caught sight of her. She smiled and walked faster. As she reached him, she opened her mouth to apologize, but he beat her to it. 

“I’m so sorry I missed you last night. Poe and I got caught up working, and by the time I realized the time, you must have already eaten. Promise I’ll drag him along tonight.”

She waved him off. “It’s fine, no problem.” She was going to continue, then reconsidered. “Come on, let’s get in before the line.” 

They set their lunches down at a table together. Kylo was sitting in the hall again, in the same corner, but Rey firmly ignored him. Finn, however, didn’t. As she started in on her lunch, he kept glancing over at him, biting his lip. Finally, he took a deep breath and stood. She looked up at him with curiosity and some trepidation. 

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“Come on,” he said, without answering. 

She followed his gaze to Kylo and her stomach sunk. She considered leaving, but she looked up at Finn and knew she couldn’t. Setting her jaw, she picked up her tray, and followed Finn over to Kylo’s corner. 

He regarded them just as suspiciously as he had her yesterday as they approached. Finn sat down his tray a couple seats down from him without any introduction, and started on his food. Kylo watched him eat as if he was suddenly going to turn and attack, but when Finn started a conversation with Rey instead, finally telling her about his mission, he went back to his own lunch, still shooting them occasional glares from under his hood. Rey kept glancing at him as well, even as she listened intently to Finn. Their gazes met, and she held the look for several seconds before turning away, resolving to ignore him for the rest of the meal. 

Finn began sitting with Kylo at every meal, and Rey reluctantly followed. Kylo remained silent, though he eventually settled on ignoring them instead of glaring. When Finn finally left for another mission, Rey was grateful that she’d at least see less of Kylo. 

That hope was dashed as soon as she arrived for training with Luke the next morning. Kylo Ren sat on the floor in a meditation pose, hood still covering his head. She looked at Luke, who gestured for her to join them with a smile. She sat, keeping a distance between her and Kylo. 

Luke closed his eyes, preparing to meditate. “Kylo, hood,” he admonished. 

Kylo huffed and lowered his hood, then, still ignoring her, closed his eyes as well. She cast a last glance at him before joining them. 

As soon as the morning meditation was over, Kylo left. Rey looked at Luke, hoping for some explanation, but none was forthcoming. He simply led her through the rest of the morning’s exercises.

When they finished, Luke remained in place, and she waited.

“I think we’ll start on your lightsaber soon,” he said, looking at her.

She blinked. “Already?”

He smiled self-deprecatingly. “Unfortunately, there’s only so much I can teach you. I think creating a lightsaber is going to prepare you best for what’s to come.” His smile widened. “Even if it wouldn’t have been approved by the old masters.”

She smiled back. “Should I bring my crystals tomorrow?”

“Yes, that would be good.” He paused. “You could ask Ben about lightsaber construction as well, if you’re curious.”

She snorted. “With that mess he calls a saber?”

Luke shrugged. “There are only two people on the planet, and not that many more in the universe who could tell you about lightsabers. At the very least, you could learn what not to do.”

She laughed. “True.”

Luke gestured her to the door. “We’ll work on forms this afternoon, be ready.”

She nodded and left.

Most people on the base seemed to have no trouble avoiding Kylo Ren. He made it easy, glaring at those who got too close, skulking along the walls. Rey was sure the majority never had any contact with him. She, however, had no such luck. 

She was working on the Falcon again, sitting on top of it, and Chewie was working with her from the bottom. The general strode into the hangar, her son by her side. She was talking, gesturing with her hands, while he appeared to be listening moodily. Rey wasn’t sure if he did anything that wasn’t moody. The general would probably have better luck getting the base to accept him if he did something other than glare at people, but she wasn’t even sure what Kylo Ren smiling would look like. Unnatural, probably. 

Kylo stopped just beyond the entrance to the hanger while his mother continued, greeting the pilots. He lurked in the entranceway briefly before turning to leave. However, a roar from Chewbacca stopped him in his tracks. Rey looked down at the wookiee in surprise. He had avoided Kylo since he had come back, not acknowledging Kylo even when they were near each other, which wasn’t often. It was hard to tell on a wookiee face, but she could imagine that he was as conflicted as Leia, struggling between the boy he helped raise and the man who had killed his lifelong friend. 

Chewbacca roared again, a sound Rey didn’t recognize. Kylo apparently did though, because he slowly approached the ship. Pilots and technicians quieted as he passed, until the whole hanger was silent by the time he reached the Falcon. Chewbacca growled, and everyone suddenly became reimmersed in their work, talking louder than before. Kylo stood before the wookiee, head bowed and hands clenched loosely at his sides. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, so quietly Rey could barely hear him. She nearly fell off the ship. “It doesn’t bring him back; I wish I could, but I’m sorry.”

Rey watched with wide eyes as Chewbacca stood silent for a moment, then bent over and wrapped Kylo in an enormous hug. Kylo froze, then his arms slowly came up to clutch Chewie’s back. Only a small piece of his face showed between his hood and Chewie’s fur, but Rey thought she saw a shimmer in his eyes before he closed them, burying his face in the wookiee’s shoulder. Uncomfortable, she looked away, and saw that she wasn’t the only one watching the reunion. She glared at the nearest group until they looked up at her, then busied themselves again.

-

Rey began the preparations for her saber, starting with datapads full of research that Luke gave her. She devoured them quickly, fascinated by the mechanics of the ancient weapons. Only a limited amount could be found on the double-bladed sabers, and she could almost picture how hers would come together, but her design felt too close to two sabers stuck together, and she wanted to channel it better. She sighed and leaned her head against the desk, shoving the latest datapad out of the way. Luke was right, Kylo was the only other person around with actual experience, and she could at least learn to avoid his mistakes. 

She approached him in the dining hall. He didn’t look up and his face remained impassive except for a momentary flicker of surprise that she was joining him on her own. 

“I’m starting on my lightsaber,” she began without preamble.

He took a bite of food. “Congratulations.”

She glared and took a deep breath. “Luke suggested that, as the only other trained Force-wielder around, I might be able to get some information from you.”

He raised his brows. “Are you asking me for help?”

She glared harder. “No. I can do it on my own, I just thought you might have some input. After all, I can hardly make a saber more unstable than yours.”

He returned her glare. “The crystal in that saber came from Darth Vader himself. You couldn’t hope to build a saber with half the history.”

“Yes, I’m so disappointed that my saber won’t have a history of mass murder,” she hissed.

He glowered but didn’t respond. “Fine,” he said finally. “I’ll meet you after your training this afternoon.”

She nodded and left, taking her tray with her.

She spent the afternoon on forms with Luke again. He drilled them into her with increasing force, preparing her for what he thought was coming. She was surprised when he stopped early, cocking his head and then turning to the side. Kylo emerged from behind a tree.

“Excellent,” Luke said, as if he’d been expecting him. “You can help.”

“What?” Kylo and Rey said simultaneously. 

Luke waved his hand at them. “I’m old and tired. You spar, and I’ll watch.”

Rey watched Kylo suspiciously, and he returned the look. They hadn’t fought one on one since the duel on Starkiller.

“Go on then.” Luke crossed his arms lightly, smiling.

Rey pressed her lips together and held her lightsaber ready. Kylo looked at the saber and then back at his uncle. “Do I block with my hands, or should I find a stick?”

Luke’s lips quirked. “You’re welcome to any of the sticks lying around, but try this.” He tossed his lightsaber to Kylo.

He turned it over in his hands and looked at his uncle. “You’re not supposed to give me this.”

Luke shrugged. “I’ll take full responsibility if you kill me with it.”

Rolling his eyes, Kylo turned back to Rey, taking his stance. “Ready?”

Instead of answering, she attacked, putting him on the defensive immediately. As opposed to last time, she had been trained, and now knew how to use the weapon in her hands, but Kylo had an advantage too. He was no longer injured, and he likely knew exactly what his uncle had been teaching her. Despite his surprise, he caught her strike, and returned it in force. She pushed him back briefly, but then he used his height to cut over her, driving her back. She tried to duck under him, but he predicted her, and took the offensive. He combined the Force with his movements more easily than she did and continually blocked her blows. 

She gritted her teeth, then tried to relax, letting herself flow into the motion of the battle. His form was wide and broad, designed to take advantage of his heavier saber, but he was put off balance by Luke’s. Without the crossguards to protect him, he also tended to leave his hands and arms open, but she couldn’t take advantage of that without seriously harming him. He wouldn’t appreciate matching Luke. Instead, she balanced herself to weave with his strokes, letting him push her back at points, then taking the ground back from the side. She saw a gap at his neck, and overreached herself to take it, leaving her open to his lightsaber at her neck. They both froze.

“Well done,” Luke said happily from the side. They jumped, then, watching each other, deactivated the sabers. “Rey, that was good, you’re getting the hang of using the forms in combat. Ben, you can use the practice; you two should see about training together more often.” Kylo and Rey avoided looking at each other. Luke smiled. “Rey, I’ll see you tomorrow morning.” He turned and walked back to the base, leaving them alone in the clearing together. 

“Come on, we should do this inside,” Kylo muttered, following after him. Rey walked with him, both still not looking at each other. 

They entered the training room, where Rey had left the holos she had been reading. They sat on the floor, and Rey grudgingly slid him the pad with her notes and current sketch on it. He flipped through, reading the pages she’d highlighted, then examining her sketch. 

“It’s good,” he said reluctantly. “The crystals though-” He tapped the screen. “Are they too close together?” 

She shook her head and took the pad back, flipping to a page Luke had taken notes on. “Luke thinks it should be fine. They’re paired, so they shouldn’t interfere.”

“Okay, but what about-” He turned to another page and she leaned over to see.

They argued back and forth for the rest of the evening, from small disagreements to a few points they started shouting over. Somehow, they still managed to resolve the main problems. They had both missed dinner by the time they finished, but Rey had a lightsaber design ready to show Luke in the morning. She stared down at it, while Kylo sat against the wall, head leaned back and eyes closed. A couple small adjustments to the hilt had made it so much more real, almost tangible. She could picture how it would come together, piece by piece, clearly as if each part was before her. 

She stood, stretching. Kylo cracked his eyes open. “Are we done?”

“I am,” she told him.

“Good,” he said, grunting as he stood. He paused before leaving the room. “I’ll see you tomorrow then?”

“Yeah,” she said distractedly, planning out the parts she would need to find.

-

Finn arrived back from his latest mission early the next morning, brimming with excitement. He told her over lunch that it had gone off without a hitch, and the weapons plant had been destroyed without the Resistance taking so much as a shot of damage. As he talked, Rey noticed Kylo looking up with a smile of savage satisfaction while Finn told how the plant crumbled. 

He hung around for a couple days this time, and Rey spent as much time with him as she could, besides the time she spent with Luke, or he spent with Poe. Kylo started less obviously ignoring them at lunch, even going so far as to listen to their conversation. She thought given another couple months, he might finally speak up with one of the sarcastic comments she knew he had to be dying to add. She debated waiting to see how long it would take him to join an actual conversation, but was too curious to wait that long.

“Why do you keep coming to eat in the dining hall when you hate being here?” she asked, interrupting the comfortable momentary silence between her and Finn.

He looked surprised, then averted his eyes to his plate. “The general. I’m supposed to be ‘integrating with the base,’” he muttered, pushing his food around. 

She raised her eyebrows. “So you’re being forced to talk to people on pain of death?”

He snorted. “More or less.”

She nodded, going back to her food.

-

Rey walked into the hanger and found Kylo on a lift, working on the Falcon. She ignored her first instinct to shove him away, and walked over. She looked up and saw he was elbow deep in the Falcon’s sides, wearing an express of furious frustration. His hood had fallen off, and his face and clothes were streaked with grease. 

She cleared her throat. “What are you doing?”

He didn’t look down at her. “Fixing it.”

She waited a beat, but he didn’t elaborate. “Why?”

He grunted. “Chewie asked me to.”

Her eyebrows raised in surprise. “Why?”

He shrugged. “He can’t reach in here, asked if I could.” He swore and pulled one hand free, glaring at the ship. She rolled her eyes and climbed the lift. He jumped and turned towards her. “You-”

She looked critically at his work, bending and peering into the Falcon. She frowned. “Do you actually know what you’re doing?”

He glared, offended. “Of course I do. I’ve been working on this ship longer than you have.”

“Is that how it ended up like this?” He began to protest, but she cut him off. “Move over.”

With a sullen glare, he moved to the side, carefully extracting his other arm. She reached in, moving aside the part he had been failing to get around. “There.”

He leaned over, lowering his head to near her chest, and looked around her. “Huh,” he grunted. 

She rolled her eyes. “Think you can manage it?”

He didn’t answer, but pushed in next to her to get back to work. She squeezed around him, pressed by the edge of the lift to his large warm body. From the back of the narrow lift, she looked at where he was working at the edge, and where she needed to get on the top, and in a split second decision, pulled herself up by his shoulders and climbed to the top of the Falcon. She looked back to see him gaping at her from below. She smirked, and went on to her own work. 

-

Rey deposited her small pile of metal scraps on the floor of the training room, each one carefully and precisely shaped. Luke sat with her and looked over each one, nodding and smiling. 

“Beautiful, Rey.”

Kylo looked over them as well. He gave a single nod as he handed the pieces back.

“So?” she asked Luke eagerly. In her hands, the pieces practically begged to be put together.

“In a few days,” Luke told her. Her face dropped slightly, but he continued. “We’ll go out walking, find a good spot.”

She nodded and wrapped the pieces back up, cradling them to her.

-

Rey arrived in the hangar to the sound of long and creative swearing from the cockpit of the Falcon. She sighed and walked up the open ramp, the swearing growing louder as she approached. As expected, Kylo was there, with the comm panel pulled open and the many wires behind it jumbled together. She leaned against the entry to the cockpit.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m fixing the comm system.”

She looked at the tangle of wires. “Are you?”

“Yes,” he growled, yanking one wire apart, only to lose it in the others.

She sighed and stepped in front of him. “What was wrong with it in the first place?”

“Couldn’t access the new Resistance frequency,” he said above her head.

“Well, you certainly solved that,” she muttered under her breath. She could feel his scowl behind her.

“It should have been a quick fix. But I think a bunch of these are falling out anyway, they need to be replaced.” 

“Probably,” she agreed. “Here, hold this.” She held up a bunch of wires to him, and his arm came around her to grab them. She sucked in a breath when she realized he was now caging her around the panel, an arm on either side of her, and his warm front pressed to her back. She shook her head and concentrated. “Why do you keep agreeing to do this if you don’t even know how?” she muttered, squinting and holding a wire up to the dim light.

“I do!” She raised her eyebrows at him, then looked pointedly to the wires hanging from the console. “Han taught me,” he mumbled. “I was never any good at it.”

She nodded, not knowing what to say.

They spent the rest of the afternoon piecing the comm system back together. Rey used Kylo’s large hands to hold things out of her way and did the detail work herself. When they finally finished, Rey banged the panel back in place, and turned to leave. 

“I - thank you,” he muttered, looking at the floor. 

Her eyebrows flew up in surprise. “You’re welcome.” She paused. “You can always ask for help, you know.”

He glared at her again, not answering.

She rolled her eyes. “Fine. Just let me know when you’re going to be taking apart the ship.”

Kylo kept appearing around the Falcon, to Rey’s annoyance and amusement. She wedged herself in to help whenever she saw him there, looking over his shoulder or around his (ridiculously broad) chest, partially from a desire to protect the ship from his repairs, and partially for the satisfaction of pointing out his mistakes. She usually got a sullen thank you for her efforts, which was more than she expected. 

Chewie kept giving him tasks, though she suspected he knew exactly how well Kylo did at them on his own, and she wasn’t sure if he did it as a sort of punishment or a desire to help him. Likely a combination of both. Kylo kept at his given job with a sort of angry determination. She’d say he was going to battle with the ship if he didn’t shy away from hurting it, turning to bang his fists against the wall or the lift when things went particularly badly. Even she had thumped the side in frustration before. Instead, it was like he was doing some sort of penance through the work, to Chewie, to the ship, to his father, or all of them. 

-

Luke announced without warning the day they would finally travel for Rey to complete her lightsaber. They quickly packed enough for a day’s hike and left before the sun had cleared the horizon. Luke led, since he had a direction in mind, and Rey followed close by him. Kylo trailed behind. Rey felt an instinctual flash of annoyance at his presence, which was quickly worn away by the realization that he had been there for most of the creation of her saber already. It made sense that he would be there for the final step.

They walked for hours before Luke told them to stop, ending up in an area Rey hadn’t seen before. She lay her bag down next to a tree, then stepped into the center of the clearing with the pieces of her lightsaber. She looked back to Luke, who smiled. 

“You know what to do, Rey.”

She nodded, heart pounding with excitement. She sat in the clearing and spread the pieces in front of her, laying them out in the shape of the saber they would become. The last pieces set were the twin crystals, one at either end. With a last glance at Luke and Kylo, she held her hands out and closed her eyes. 

Immediately, she could feel the Force around her. It rushed into her, filling her up, evening her heartbeat. She breathed out and felt the pulse of life in the clearing, centering on Luke and Kylo and the almost-lightsaber. Breathing in, she lifted her hands, and the first pieces rose with them, fitting together as easily as the pulse of blood through her veins. Gradually, the other pieces followed, slotting together, forming the saber. The crystals nestled into their cradles and then were concealed by the casing. As the saber sealed, finally coming together as one, Rey was one with the Force. She spread through the Force as it poured into her.

The other presences brushed by her, giving her glimpses into them. She examined her saber, a burning yellow sun, fierce and protective, fitting into her perfectly. Kylo’s presence was there, within her, just as much a part of the Force as she was. Luke as well, warm and familiar, but he didn’t burn in her mind the way Kylo did. He was ragged and torn, bleeding and not fully healed, flaring against her, and she drew closer in fascination. Darkness flickered around light in an array of colors, nearly blinding her. She explored him, feeling the flickers of his presence like a physical touch, and it filled her with exhilaration. She pressed into him, and she was suddenly overwhelmed with him, his thoughts, his feelings, everything about him. She saw herself through him in the center of the clearing, face blissfully relaxed, lit by the glow of her saberstaff and felt his outpouring of emotion that was almost too intense to process. She tried to pick through it, but it moved quickly, flowing away through the Force. She reached out and grabbed it, letting it sink into her, and gasped in shock, her eyes flying open. 

Her finished saber fell into her outstretched hands. She wrapped her fingers around it, the fit completely natural, and looked up. She saw Luke’s wide grin, but she looked past him to Kylo. His eyes met hers, and they widened in realization of what had happened. He quickly looked away, as if he could hide what she already knew. She continued staring at him, but he didn’t meet her gaze.

“Rey? Are you alright?” Luke asked worriedly. 

“Fine.” She rose shakily onto her feet, feeling as if she had been sitting there for hours. She rejoined Luke and Kylo. 

Luke held out his hands. “May I see?” She passed the lightsaber to him, and he turned it over in his hands. “Beautiful, Rey.”

She smiled slightly, her head still swimming.

They left soon after. Rey spent the entirety of the walk back sorting through what she had experienced through the Force, holding her new lightsaber tightly to her.

-

Rey lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, still caught in what the Force had shown her. Her lightsaber gleamed in the moonlight next to her bed, and she picked it up, absentmindedly turning it in her hands. She knew what she had felt from Kylo, even if she didn’t understand. The oddest part was that while the feelings had faded, they hadn’t entirely disappeared. It was almost like some part of the connection still remained.

She sat bolt upright. Frantically, she searched her mind for the Force bond, only breathing slightly better when she found it as separate as it usually was. She prodded at the lingering emotions she felt for Kylo, but they stayed stubbornly persistent, warm and pleasant, not the overwhelming mass she had gotten from him, but something that could grow to be that. 

She tore out of bed and shoved shoes on, then ran across the base to Luke’s quarters. She knocked heavily on his door.

It opened, and Luke blinked at her blearily. “Rey? What’s wrong?”

“The bond. I think it’s affecting me,” she said in a rush.

He frowned, eyes clearing somewhat. “What do you mean?”

“I felt him, Kylo, during the ceremony today. I don’t know if was the bond or not, but I’m still feeling him, and I can’t block it.”

Luke ushered her in. “Come, sit down.” He helped her to his bed, then sat next to her and raised his hand to her face. “May I?” he asked, making eye contact.

She curled her fingers around the edge of the bed and nodded. Luke’s hand gently rested on the side of her face and he closed his eyes. Her eyes slammed shut with the first touch of Luke’s mind to hers. He carefully skated the surface of her thoughts, avoiding looking at anything closely, only sensing for her Force bonded connection to Kylo. She felt when he found it, and shivered as he explored it. It seemed as closed off as ever to her, but there had to be some way his thoughts were spilling through. Luke slowly pulled from her mind and lowered his hand.

“Well?” she asked, twisting her hands in the bedspread.

“Rey, it’s not the bond,” he said gently.

“What do you mean? It has to be. Is there something else-?”

Luke shook his head. “There’s no other presence on you that I can sense. Even Kylo’s is barely there. You’ve been practicing your meditation, yes?” She nodded. “Nothing is coming through the bond that you don’t let through, Rey. You may have opened yourself to him during the ceremony, but the only thing in your mind now is yours.”

She stared at him, uncomprehending. “Then how-?”

He smiled softly. “I would look into yourself for those answers.” She swallowed. Luke stood. “Is that all?” She nodded again, and stood as well. “Well, then I’ll see you tomorrow morning, Rey. This old hermit needs his sleep before then.”

She gave him a half smile and left. Her feet dragged on the way back to her quarters, lost in her own thoughts. When she lay back down, she returned to staring at the walls until dawn, when she finally passed out. 

-

Kylo was waiting for her in the training room with Luke in the morning. He didn’t look up when she entered, apparently going back to avoiding her. Before she could sit down, Luke’s comm chimed from his belt. He exchanged some quick words with the person on the other end before clipping it back to his belt. 

“It seems I have a meeting with the general. You two can begin sparring, might as well break in that new saber.”

Rey pulled her saber from her belt as Kylo slowly rose from the floor. She turned it on and spun it a few times in her hands, getting used to the feel of it. Luke tossed his lightsaber to Kylo as he left, closing the door behind him, and he lit it as well. Rey waited for him to get in position before lunging forward with the first strike. He was prepared, as she expected, and the fight began in earnest.

Rey had gotten used to Luke’s lightsaber in the time since she’d found it, but she had been fighting with her staff since she could remember. The moves came fluidly to her, blending her fighting style with the forms Luke had taught her, and connecting it all with the Force. She laughed, excitement filling her, the fit more perfect than she had expected. Kylo looked taken aback for a moment, then gave a brief flash of a smile and pressed forward. 

He had adjusted to Luke’s lightsaber as well, gaining more speed where he lost the weight behind his strikes, but it was still not his preferred method. Still, he kept up with her, taking his ground where he could, taking advantage of his knowledge of her form. Rey thought that if she really pressed, she could have him against the wall in surrender. Instead, she let the Force flow through her, channeling it through the saber, and danced with Kylo around the room. 

She could tell he felt it as well, the concentration fading from his expression into something more peaceful. They spun gracefully across the floor, the sound of sabers clashing creating a pattern like a heartbeat. She could feel his moves before he made them, and met him with ease, a back and forth and ebb and flow. Through the calmness of the Force, her heartbeat rose with excitement, feeling the build of the dance to its conclusion. They met each other in the center of the room, sabers crossed above their heads, bodies a breath apart. 

She looked up at Kylo and grinned wildly, and he smiled back down at her, careless and free. Her breath left her chest, knocked out of her by the shock of seeing him look like that. Her mouth was parted to pant, and so was his, and she glanced down at his full lips. His eyes flicked down as well, and, after a pause, he leaned closer. She could hardly breathe, and all she could feel around her was him, his warmth, his presence, his breath against her lips. She raised on her toes the last few inches for their lips to meet. Her heart skipped a beat, the shock of his lips against hers sending ripples through her.

He moaned against her and deactivated his saber, dropping it to the floor to wrap his arms around her. She nearly let hers fall lit, but managed to hit the switch to turn it off before dropping hers as well. She grabbed his shoulders and pulled him even closer to her, then slipped her hands into his hair. They explored each other’s mouths, tongues tangling, as their hands moved over each other’s bodies. He lifted her in his arms, apparently growing tired of bending over her, and raised her so their mouths met more easily. Holding her, he walked forwards until the hit the wall, pressing her between him and it. The wall at her back gave them the leverage to get even closer, crushing the last gaps between them.

He wedged himself between her legs, and she eagerly wrapped them around him. His hands rested on her hips, pushing up the edge of her tunic to find the skin above her pants. She gasped when his hands held her waist, then pushed up her chest, taking her shirt with them. She let go of him to let him throw the shirt to the side, then pushed his robe from his shoulders before his hands returned to her. Their mouths hardly parted, both of them panting for breath. 

He slid to the ground with her still wrapped around him. From his lap, she pulled his shirt off, struggling to get him to let go of her long enough to remove it. His hands were busy at her breast band, pulling at the edges until it came free. She shivered as the cool air chilled the sweat on her skin, and slid further into his lap to press herself against his chest. His arms came around her, large hands running up and down her back, and she arched into his touch. Her hands ran down his sides to his waistband, then travelled between them to where his hardness pressed up against the light fabric. She rubbed the cloth against him, and he groaned brokenly into her mouth. He pushed her away from him, and she started to protest, until he grabbed the waistband of her pants and pulled them down with her underwear in a quick motion. She awkwardly kicked the clothes off, one leg and a time, then settled back against him.

His hands dove between her legs, stroking between her folds. She was already damp, but as he circled the sensitive point at her apex, she quickly grew wet. She arched against him, and his pants became another irritant. She pushed his shoulders, and he lay back against the floor. She pulled his pants down just far enough to free him, then lowered herself over his hips. She held his hardness in her hand, rubbing it between along her sex, teasing both of them.

“Rey, please,” he groaned, arching into her hand.

She smirked, but lined him up with her entrance and slowly sank onto him. She hissed through her teeth and he threw his head back against the floor and moaned. He stretched her perfectly, filling her with a sweet ache. She finally sat fully astride him, panting. She rolled her hips against him, letting him reach every sensitive point she had. He watched her, mesmerized, and his hands came up to cup her breasts. She pushed her hands against his shoulders, leaning over him, and together they started a rhythm that quickly grew faster. His chest rose and fell rapidly under her hands, and she could feel his heartbeat pounding. They spurred each other on; she clenched around him, and he lowered a hand to just above where he entered her, rubbing her there.

She squeezed her legs against his sides and came, crying out. His hands fell to her hips, and he bucked against her a last time before he joined her. She collapsed onto his chest, panting. One broad hand threaded through her hair, catching on the tangled strands, while the other stroked along her damp back.

Neither of them noticed the door opening until they heard Luke swearing, and the door just as quickly slamming closed. Rey looked down at Kylo, biting her lip. His face turned briefly white, then even more scarlet than before. She burst out laughing, leaning over him to kiss him gently. 

“We can go back to my room?” he suggested, kissing her again. 

“As long as we’re not having dinner,” she said, smiling against his lips.

**Author's Note:**

> The prompt I used was: "Kylo thinks Rey has asked him out on a date, but she actually just casually remarked that they should grab a bite because she was trying to be nice and extended the olive branch to a recently defected Kylo nobody trusts or wants around. Rey realizing what kind of misunderstanding occurred is embarrassed and snaps at him. Why would he even think she’d be interested in him that way?! Bonus points if Kylo actually makes some sort of confession during their ‘date’, and takes the rejection with silent resignation because of course she would never want him. Basically, I am a sucker for Kylo’s broken heart, but I am also a sucker for happy endings."


End file.
